I am here
Prayer:
God, I’m here, shaking and confused, feeling things I can’t control. My heart is racing, my body restless, filled with desires and fears I don’t fully understand. Please help me through this chaos. Guide me, steady me, and lead me through the storms raging within me. Amen.
—
I first saw her on a sweltering afternoon at a street party in Takoradi. The air felt heavy, music booming loudly from speakers, bodies pressed tight, sweat dripping down my neck. It was just another ordinary night until Yaa rode in on her bike, and suddenly, nothing else mattered.
Everything stopped. My eyes fixed on her as she slid through the crowd effortlessly, her body moving smoothly with a confidence that stirred something deep inside me. My chest tightened, pulse quickening, and heat rushed through me, making my skin feel too small for my body. Yaa wasn’t from around here. She belonged to the other side of town, the rich side, a place I knew I could never touch. But when she smiled at me, it felt like an invitation, a silent promise of something I desperately wanted.
“Where do you live?” I asked nervously, voice barely steady, heart thumping loudly in my ears.
“Down by the beach,” she replied softly, smiling as if sharing a secret. Her voice melted into me, smooth and tempting, awakening an aching need I’d never felt so strongly. At seventeen, my thoughts were wild, intense, and unrestrained. I wanted her fiercely, craving her touch, her skin, her lips against mine, imagining a life far beyond the limits of our small town.
That summer, we talked endlessly, sending messages late into the night. Each word she shared stirred deeper cravings, making sleep impossible as I lay awake, haunted by fantasies of being close to her, touching her, tasting her. She told me about losing her parents, about the loneliness she hid beneath that beautiful, untouchable mask. I promised her I would protect her, that together we could escape, find someplace private and real, someplace we could finally be free.
For a brief moment, she believed me, and I believed myself. Then came that Thursday evening. The sun was sinking low when she messaged, telling me she had something special to show me. Desire burned hot inside me as I pedaled faster, sweat drenching my shirt, my muscles screaming in protest. I didn’t care. My mind was consumed by thoughts of her, of finally closing that aching distance between us, of feeling her warmth against my skin, making all those sleepless fantasies a reality.
My phone buzzed, a call from my mother, but I ignored it. Nothing mattered except Yaa.
As I reached the familiar street near the beach, excitement twisted into anxiety. She stood there, waiting at the corner, but something felt off. Her bike was missing, and her smile, normally confident and inviting, seemed tense, uncertain.My stomach tightened with sudden dread, mixing strangely with the longing that still gripped me. Her eyes met mine briefly before she stepped abruptly into the road.
“Yaa!” I shouted, panic cutting sharply through my voice. She didn’t hear me.
Tires screeched, a horrifying sound piercing the air.
Everything slowed painfully. My chest seized up, breath trapped in my throat, heart pounding painfully as I watched her body lifted into the air, helpless and fragile, the moment forever etched into my memory. All my fantasies shattered in an instant, leaving a terrifying emptiness behind. The world fell into silence.
I stood frozen on my bike, legs trembling, unable to move, unable to comprehend. The burning need inside me turned into cold, suffocating fear. She lay there, broken, unreachable, the distance between us now permanent, devastating.
I never touched her. I never felt her warmth, her breath against my skin. All those dreams became impossible, lost forever in that terrible moment, leaving me alone and empty, trying desperately to understand what had just happened.